Listen and be heard

Last year Ethan started pee-wee soccer.  His first game he would not play, he just sat in my lap and cried, like a lot of 4 year olds in their first soccer game.

We had prepared and talked about it beforehand.  Got the cleats, shin guards, socks, shorts etc.  But when it was game time, he folded like a house of cards.

I wasn't too pleased, and I let him know it.  I started down the route that I hear so many other parents take, basically letting their 4 year olds know how disappointed they are in them.

Later, after we got home, I asked him what happened...Daddy was disappointed  etc.  As I was talking to him and explaining how it was not acceptable to cry on the sidelines, I asked him why he didn't want to play.

Tears welling up in his eyes, he looked at me and said, "Because I don't know -how- to play".

Bam.  Just like that, the 4-year old put it in perspective.  Of course he doesn't.  I never took the time to practice with him or let him just kick the ball around. Dagger to the heart, but not left unheard.

So, Dad went on a mission.  Practice, drills, and focused attention all next week.  Little by little the concepts sunk in and he let go if his fear.

Then, the following week, armed with his new found confidence...he scored 4 goals.  And I was reminded again of the process of mastery...the slow, deliberate process that weeds out all the mistakes beforehand so all that is left at gametime is the poetry of motion, the simplicity and grace on the far end of complexity that the masters make look so easy.  The realized vision that starts with the most simple yet complex of steps...the getting of the wanting to just kick that ball into the goal.

It was like watching a piece of fine art develop over time every time the artist had a chance (weekly) to learn something new.

Over the course of the season, he regularly scored 4, 5, even 10 goals once. I heard other parents literally say "check that kid's birth certificate" even though he was 4 in the 4 and 5 year old league.

My son both humbled me and inspired me that season.