Begin

I started a new job this week.

I have Australia to thank.

I forgot how the cleansing and inspiring feeling of starting a new job can feel. 8 years is too long for me to stay with a company. I know my generation gets crap for "job-hopping", and for awhile, I was determined to buck that trend and be a gen-x'er that didn't change jobs every 18 months. Well I've proven I can stick it out and don't just look for a new job so I don't have to deal with the long term mess I've created. Spent 5 years at one company, almost 7 at the next, and part of my brand was to consistently leave things in better shape than I found them.

So now on to the next challenge.

Like the subject of the Australia excursion, this is a small operation trying to deploy a major software system. Except this time, it's not to enable a mainframe to be shut down, its to position themselves for growth. Additionally, they don't have huge corporate resources to tap into...they are on their own, relatively speaking. Which means them investing in me is not a trivial decision. It also means I can't call in airstrikes if things get too dicey. They expect me to deliver and be 100% accountable, unlike my old company, which was big and unwieldy but could afford a wide margin of error. No, this is the real deal, but the type of challenge I am discovering I am drawn to.

1 month into the job I'm discovering the principles of project management apply pretty much the same, but the principles of politics are magnified 10 fold. Fortunately, I'm good at the politics part, always have been. But this situation puts a a premium on the currency of results, which are universal. That's a healthy environment for me.

So far, it has been a near-perfect engagement. This is what I do well. This is what I want to do, going forward. Adding value, saving money, and providing the expertise that small and mid-sized companies need to grow and compete with the oversized, bloated industry leaders.

In hindsight, I do not favor the established Wall Street darlings, but I do admire what they have accomplished, at least while they were still owned by their principles. I do not favor the companies that are so big that they are simply extensions of the government they are in bed with. I do not favor the companies that have lost their founding vision, and I certainly do not believe in the east coast establishment. I do not believe in the ones that ask for "sacrifice" or "service" in this time of recession, for pay cuts and benefit reductions. For 10-400 million dollars a year, I expect all of you to predict a recession and plan accordingly. To quote Ayn Rand, "The man who speaks to you of sacrifice is speaking of slaves and masters, and intends to be the master". Dear Fortune 50 CEO's: For 10-400 million dollars a year, I expect you to predict the future. So, if you had to lay off anyone due to your lack of planning for the recession, you should be fired for incompetence.

Small business thinks differently, and they are closer to the tangible fundamentals that matter. Want to know why America has "lost" its business edge? Look to Wall Street and the artificial rules they have implied (through consolidation and acquisitions) to Main Street. Look at any company with a proper noun in it's name and see if they are still running the company. Ford, Hewlett-Packard, Sperry, Garrett, Bendix, Westinghouse, Heinz, etc. Sold out? That's NOT where I want to be. Eventually, however, I'd like to take the lessons I learn back to big business, if only to remind them how disconnected and inflexible they've become.

I recently came across a fairly large company that didn't do what everyone else did during its industry boom a few years ago. Their approach was, "Yeah, we could gouge our clients like out bigger competitors, but we value the relationship. And we want to be remembered when this boom dies down." Well they have been, but the principals of their less-ethical competitors were still rewarded, and are probably retired and laughing now. That is something that is very wrong with the system we live in. Reward for short-term, non-sustainable gain needs to be taxed at 99% and the proceeds need to go back to public programs and the small and mid-business that are genuinely trying to do things better. No one should be rewarded or protected for simply being the biggest or the strongest. A tax structure that protects the biggest or strongest simply for the status quo is unjust and wrong, and should be challenged, changed or overthrown.

I hate to see the "establishment" win. I hate to see the same old thing produce the same old results and come out on top. That indicates a lull in evolution while someone has a temporary advantage. An advantage should be fleeting and real, not lucky and protected. For example, I hate to see old-school college football programs win using old-school techniques and formations. I love it when the Oregons and Boise States and BYU's and TCU's of the world win. They don't have the good ol' boys network to rely on, yet they STILL beat the "best of the best". Take Boise St. vs. Oklahoma in the 2007 Fiesta Bowl.

The little guys may not win all the time, but they should be given the preferential opportunity every time. They should not have to fight for equal treatment. They should not have to "respect the uniform" of the Ohio States of the world. They should have a place at the table based on their results alone, and if they perform, should be rewarded. If they get creamed, they should go back to the drawing board, but the established winner should not be accoladed any more. The bottom line is, when the "big guy" wins, it is always with additional, inequitable resources...where's the honor in that?

My course does not overly respect the veneer of tradition or the authority of experience. I've seen "30 years of experience" simply represent 1 year of repeated lucky experience (times 30) too many times to put too much credence in just time.

Results are what matters, not "results".

Anybody on top can produce "results". It takes a real producer, a real competitor, to produce real Results.

And that's where I want to be. Recognized and rewarded for producing actual value, actual Results with a capital R, and not for doing what a billion other monkeys could do, if only given the chance. If you suspect you are a monkey, if you suspect you are just lucky and in the right place at the right time...you probably are. On the other hand, if you can clearly articulate your value proposition, every minute of every day, and it doesn't get stale, then you are a true contributor and not just feeding off the fears of the powerful but ignorant. I cannot feed off the trough of corporate waste. Employment there is like eating McDonalds for every meal. Sustaining and good on the surface, but deadly in the long run.

So begins my new enlightened approach. Will I be tempted to suckle on the corporate teat again? Sure. But knowing is half the battle...and now I know what to avoid, just like after reading that first book on nutrition. I know what lasting value is, what it feels like, and when it's being cheaply substituted for short term gain. Australia woke me to something I've known all along...If it looks like a duck, swims like a duck, and quacks like a duck, then it probably is a duck. (Aussies have a way of cutting thru the BS that I admire) So far it has done me well. I am reminded of a quote that is permanently affixed to the refrigerator..."Be bold, free, and truthful." - Brenda Ueland

And thus, I begin.

Next

I quit my job this week.

I have Australia to blame...no, thank.

In almost 8 years at my company, I learned how to apply every aspect of what I learned in school and in my previous jobs. In other words, I learned how to push paper, check boxes, and say the right thing, to the right people at the right time. But what I couldn't escape, and what bothered me, was the fact that I got paid, every two weeks, regardless of what I did. I could work 10 hours a week or 80, and I'd get the same check.

I like working 80 hours a week. As long as I'm compensated for them, and they mean something. This thought caused me to delve deeper into what I was doing with my career, and more importantly, with my life.

While I was in Australia, I had purpose. I worked hard. I knew if I missed a day, I would be missed. I had a clear objective, and I put my career on the line to achieve that objective. It was a tough one. It was a classic underdog situation. Deploy this system, in a fraction of the time with a fraction of the resources usually available for a project like this. And I did it. I nailed it. I spent only 66% of the budget I was given, and I did it on the date I said I would. It was the most satisfying project I had worked on since my first two years with the company.

Then I came home.

Back to the grind. Back to approving expense reports, reviewing proposals, creating documents that are never read, and coaching the 7 other people on my team on how to do the same thing. Back to leading a team that with one exception, didn't even work in my city. Back to endless virtual (online) meetings where decisions were made and never followed through on. Back to reviewing decisions made 2 years prior and re-hashing the same excuses for why development was delayed. Back to raising a red flag and being told "shhhh! We need to maintain our relationship with our preferred (offshore) vendor!" Really? I questioned them charging us 25K to change 2 lines of code! "Shhhh! Just go back to pushing paper!" Back to working with people that had mastered the system, but were clueless when it came to actually getting results. "Oh, missed another deadline? Well, it was much harder than we thought. We should push the date back. My team is working hard, but it's just soooo hard." And when their director and VP BACK THEM UP, despite clear plans and deadlines that were agreed to...and prove to be just as spineless and slippery...

Really?

I could play the game. Heck, I've done it myself. I know how it works. In a salaried, institutional world, it's first about protecting your back, then protecting your boss' back, then your employees...then, if you have some time, actually doing something. Government employees understand this game well. Unfortunately, it extends beyond just government. I think most large, established companies...after working almost 12 years for 2 of the Dow Jones companies...are no better or efficient than the government that they are in bed with. When we look at government wastefulness and inefficiency, we should also include in the same breath the big businesses they have "bailed out". They are just as incompetent.

So I quit. I'd had enough. Bold move? Absolutely, especially with no real job prospects already lined up. But I like to think fortune favors the bold. And there was a sort of chuckling satisfaction, during my exit interview, as I informed the HR representative why I left and that I didn't have a job lined up. I just didn't want to work there anymore, and damned be the consequences.

I've pulled some pretty gutsy moves in the past, and this has to rank up there with the gutsiest.

But I have that same feeling of peace, that same feeling of purpose, that I have had in the most lucent moments of inspiration in my life. This is no different. Life is about to change drastically, again, and I'm just going to ride that wave until the gods put me on the shore I'm meant to be on.

It's an extension of the core concept I have come to internalize these last few years:

Be what you are, and do what you say.

Metaphorical tangent...Chemicals and compounds, are a result of a complex set of sub-atomic interactions that occur under certain circumstances. The most stable compounds are the ones that occur naturally, or are ideally suited for the environment they exist in. I'm still not 100% sure what I am, but Argon and even enriched Uranium have a purpose.

My purpose is evolving, but I'm pretty sure I've got a handle on it. I know what I'm good at. I know what I suck at. In fact, I almost think I'm ready to decide on what I want to do when I grow up. And money doesn't matter anymore. I've run the educational and institutional gauntlet. I've lived the dream, had the giant house and nice cars and lots of disposable income....but it means nothing, if you're not living a life of purpose.

I have the vision. I've proven my integrity. Time now to pursue not my dream, but my purpose.

Stay tuned.

And...scene.

Melbourne has been a blast. Especially the last 10 days with Amy around. We drink each other up like a rock star in a liquor store. Revelry, debauchery, hooligans, antics and shenanigans. Squared. Unfortunately, her time here in Oz came to an end this morning as I put her on a flying kangaroo (Qantas flight 422) this morning and sent her back to reality. 72 more hours, some apartment cleanup, goodbyes to friends, and I'll be on a plane myself. This Australian chapter will officially come to a close.

Some of the things I will remember...Melbourne, and outlying Victoria. Sydney for a couple days. G'day. How you going? Holdens. Meatpies. Boomerangs. Aborigines. Incredibly expensive import taxes! Kangaroos, wallabies and other marsupials. James and his cigars next door. Great food. Great art. Tim Burton!!! Jack on Fire, Clinkerfield, Urban Creatures, Silverstate Highway, and James from work. Yarra trams and the river. Essendon station. Footy! (Go Saints!) The MCG with Dad, AAMI with Ged, Chris and Damien, and Etihad with Ged. The Lava Lounge. Parliment station that doesn't run anything to Flinders except on weekends. Flinders street station. Matthew Flinders. Southern Cross station. The V-line. Tram 59, 96, 112, and 86. Street performers, like Ganja the Great. The Great Ocean Road. Apollo Bay, Torquay, Angelsea and the ocean. Mt. Dandenong and Mt. Buller. The 12 (really 7) Apostles. Otway national park, and the incredibly scary rainforest skywalk. Dad. Lysterfield lake park. The You-Yangs. Liquorland, ICA, and all the "hotels" that were really bars. The George, Shelby and Phil, Cassie, Mel and the rest. South Melbourne Market, St. Kilda and the beach. The Manly ferry in Sydney. The Establishment. The Ivy. MoVida and Uccello. Nando's, Red Rooster, Hungry Jack and Lord of the Fries. Victoria University, The Rendezvous Hotel, and their bright neon signs. Eureka...the tower and the rebellion. Freshwater Place, PWC, and the Crown. PJ O'Briens and bad fish n chips. Manly beach, Ballarat, and GREAT fish n chips. The Burlesque Bar, The Old Bar, and so many others. Ned Kelly. Kangaroo Rider, Sheila, and Wombat. Universal health care that works. Good wages, good salaries, reasonable taxes, amazing public transit, public art....and more culture on any given street than in the entire southeastern US combined. Almost 5 months in all.

What a cool country. All the culture of Europe without the pretentiousness. Like if you crossed France with Arizona. I learned to distinguish between English, Aussie, and Kiwi accents pretty accurately. 15 hours on an A380 and I'll be back in the US, ready to settle back into my life and be with my family again. Can't wait.

A running list - Leadership

This is a compilation of thoughts on leadership I've periodically updated over the last 5 years. It is by no means comprehensive. It started after lunch one day with a good friend and co-worker (thank you, Mr. Cardoza) and unfortunately only gets updated when I remember it exists and happen to be close to my PC.

It was about 5 years ago that I first had actual employees reporting to me. I previously had matrix-manager roles, where people were temporarily assigned to me for projects or whatever, but this was different. This was the whole enchilada. These were not production-line workers. They weren't flipping burgers, tending a bar, or working a cash register. They were top-level, highly educated, skilled and experienced professionals. Many had at least one masters degree, and none had less than a bachelors. These were the kind of employees I had to set annual goals for, write annual and mid-year reviews for, make salary and bonus decisions for, and unfortunately in a few cases, fire or let go due to business conditions. These were real, seasoned career veterans, some making over 100K per year, and one of them had over 40 years of programming and operations experience with the same company. Some were older than my parents. Intimidating to say the least, for a 31-year-old.

Additionally, these were true knowledge workers. Each had their own area of expertise. Many were left over from major software implementations over the years. Like building maintenance people, but better because they had actually built the building. No wonder they are viewed as high cost. Can you imagine if every house or building built retained the architect as their primary maintenance person?

5 years later, I have not crashed and burned. I haven’t been a superhero, but I’ve done well. At one point, when the economy was still booming, I had almost 50 people, employees and contractors, which I was responsible for. At the peak, 20 of those were actual company employees, and I had three other managers working for me with their own teams. I’ve had to make lots of hiring decisions, and on that, I’m batting about .800. The number of employees reporting to me has reduced, due to my company’s distaste for contractors, dead weight, and the cost-cutting that ensued after the economy crashed. A bad economy will change the climate pretty quickly, if your leadership knows what they are doing. Fortunately for my company, our leaders took action early. Fortunately for me, I was a top performer. If you’re not making money, you can’t spend money on anything but the essentials. That environment gave me the opportunity to separate the wheat from the chaff, so to speak. It sucked, and it has been hard, and lots of hard discussions ensued…but then again, if the right thing to do was easy, everyone would be doing it.

Each one of the points below represents a deep personal understanding, not just something regurgitated from a textbook, MBA class, or HBR article. Each one could be its own blog entry, complete with personal anecdote. An expert is, after all, someone who has made all the mistakes, and I’ve made plenty.

• Those you lead are your subordinates first, friends second

• Lead by example…but remember that example has to be most relevant to the level you’re at. Eisenhower’s daily routine had little in common with the average GI. But front-line officers and NCO’s had a lot in common with the average GI. Don't act like Eisenhower unless you are, in fact, Eisenhower.

• Don’t dilute your authority by getting too close

• Recognize and make the tough decisions

• Don’t hesitate on the decisions that need to be made quickly, and know the difference

• Manage your own insecurities.  

•A good mentor is like a good shrink.

• Be the first to the table with the plan

• Always have a plan (A, B, C, etc.)

• Good, honest, accurate feedback is priceless, and very rare. Very few people have the balls to be completely honest to your face. When they are, encourage it by listening and assessing, and not getting defensive.  But if they are just being a-hole, don't waste your time, and let them know it.  Constructive criticism is easy to identify, and should be welcomed, but pointless criticism is a waste of everyone's time and the learning experience should be re-directed back at the source.

• Don’t fear asking questions, lots of them – in the beginning

• Don’t ask questions late in the game that should have been understood earlier

• Stack the deck in your favor thru effective planning

• Don’t set yourself up for failure by not planning effectively

• Understand the difference between the time for planning and the time for execution

• If you can do something about it, why worry? If you can’t do something about it, why worry?

• Visualize the end early in the game, preferably before your competitors

• Take intelligent risks – work those angels

• Listen to good music – take a break

• Never lose sight of your value proposition. Reaffirm it every day

• Understand your input/value-add/output equation

• Understand the transactional nature of human relations

• You get what you pay for. Italian stucco is better than Mexican stucco just like American code is better than Indian code.

• Only pay for what you need.

• Use praise wisely – only after tangible results that are easy to identify. If results are not obvious than they are probably meaningless.

• Don’t just play the game – transcend it

• Manage to the simplicity on the far end of complexity; master your craft. Rely on the good people that work for you to work through the complexity. But be ready at a moment’s notice to jump into that complexity the minute you suspect something is wrong

• Focus on the critical few first

• Be courageous; Courage is the ability to follow your own principles, even when you are scared to death (see Honor)

• Make no assumptions. Stuff doesn’t happen unless you make it happen. Follow up on everything. Get it in writing.

• There is nothing more valuable than a well-written contract.

• Every meeting, either with subordinates or superiors, is a chance to set expectations. Don’t squander those opportunities, keep expectations high.
•Don't allow operational fiefdoms, unless you don't mind operations usurping creative.

Like I said, this is just a partial list, but a pretty solid reflection of my current views on leadership. Management is a different story for me…complete with a whole list of good fundamentals, blocking/tackling, and other coaching analogies, and will eventually become another blog entry. Please comment freely on the points/thoughts above. One of them mentions the value of good feedback…

Update, 5/30/2013:
•Sweat the details
•Have Honor.  Having Honor means doing the right thing, despite the personal consequences.  
•Master the fundamentals first.  Then have an opinion.
•Once you've found yourself, live so that others may have the same joy.  In other words, give them the luxury of being themselves in a protected environment.  Just don't remove the reality of someday having to leave that environment.
•Remember the rule of three:  Never strike first.  Use words and ideas until you've been struck 3 times and protocol has been followed 3 times.  Have 3 documented cases where you followed the rules designed to protect you.  Then, pound them into submission.  Even if you lose, it's a powerful message.

The park in Airport West

Airport West is a suburb of Melbourne, where I'm working for the time being. No family or friends around means I can spend an inordinate amount of time working. However, I take long lunches because my lunchtime is in the same time zone as dinnertime the previous day for my friends and family back home. It's the best time for me to call home, and the only time slot that I can hear from Natalie and Ethan.

Not long ago I found a public park near the plant. It consists of a footy oval, a cricket oval, a community center, and some playground equipment. At lunchtime on weekdays, it's empty. I discovered it one day after deciding, somewhat randomly, that I wanted to wander back through the nearby neighborhoods instead of heading straight back to the plant after a lunchtime sandwich at Nando's. I felt like exploring, but mainly, I just wanted to take my time. There were no pending meetings to go back for, and it was sunny and cool. So I parked in the empty parking lot facing the footy oval, turned the engine off, rolled down the windows, and just let myself be.

It turned out to be one of those deeply existential moments that happen from time to time. You know, those moments where everything becomes vivid, like a lucid dream. The moments that pierce reality and speak directly to your soul. In these moments, you remember in vivid detail the inputs of all your senses, including your state of mind and what was running through it at the time.

So I took it in, recognizing that moments like this were rare. A breeze was blowing. I could hear the sound of cars on the tollway in the distance and the occasional clacking sound of a commuter train on the nearby Cragieburn line. I could see and hear the gum trees around the field swaying with the breeze. I heard the squeaking of the swings in the playground as they also swayed in the breeze. I recall the cognizance of the fact that I was 9000 miles from home. I felt the warm sun on my bare arm, hanging out the car window, as I stared at the somewhat mundane scene in front of me. Then, I vividly imagined Natalie and Ethan, laughing and playing on that empty playground, half a world away from home. I heard their voices, laughs, and shrieks of joy. For a moment I hugged them and held them close, feeling their little bodies against mine, then putting my hands on their little heads, feeling their hair and then letting them go again to play on the playground. I smelled the scent of the shampoo in their hair, I saw their bright, pure smiles. At that moment I loved them and missed them more than I ever had before. My daughter, and my son.

I know they will grow up. I know they will live their own lives, carve their own paths, account for their own successes and failures. They will listen to me and ignore me, love me and hate me. They will ask why and why not. They will want to know what happened, and what didn't happen. They will think, they will feel, they will remember. They will question, they will conclude, then they will question again.

I can't dictate or force any of that. Like that moment in the park, I can just be. I can lay down a few rules and answer a few questions. But most importantly, I can love and treasure them for being here with me, right now, sharing the journey.

If I died tomorrow, a lot would be left undone. But I could sleep happy, if my children knew and understood how their Daddy felt about them, how deeply he loved them, that day in the park in Airport West, half a world away.

What I love

The things we see.

The way we see.

The way she listens.

The way she understands.

The way she sounds, even from the moment I first heard the sound of her voice, on that January afternoon.

The way we read each other.

The way she smiles.

The moments she smiles.

The candid pictures.

The flowers in her hair.

The vintage shoes and dresses.

The way she touches me.

The way she feels.

The way we can communicate deeply without talking.

The eyes...ever the eyes.

The way she absorbs the moment.

The way she loves our children.

The special place we share.

The memories we create.

The road trips we take.

The interests we share.

The music we love.

The colors of her hair.

The goals and dreams we share.

The way I feel, when I go to sleep, knowing that I am loved.

The way I feel, when I think about the whole of my existence, and know that I have found that one kindred spirit, the one that can only come along once in a lifetime, and realize she is mine and I am hers.

The future and what it holds.

Why Star Trek sucks

Because it's not Star Wars, and in my formative years, that was the difference. The vision George Lucas created in sci-fi was far superior to anything Roddenberry and later Berman created, and I'm not just talking about the special effects. Lucas created classic human drama, enhanced and expanded by fantastic technology, but still plagued by the same individual and societal shortcomings that makes good drama. While Roddenberry tried to do the same thing, Star Trek's basic premise of humankind's enlightened societal condition and superior sense of ethics ultimately cheapened anything Kirk or the crew of the Enterprise accomplished. Of course they always prevailed, and in a perfect way. In a universe as seemingly perfect as the Federation, where you can't even find wrinkled clothing, much less a speck of dirt...anywhere...or equipment that shows even the slightest signs of wear and tear, would you expect any less of them? At least Luke Skywalkers landspeeder looked like the typical POS old Camaro a teenager would drive.

Now don't get me wrong...Star Wars took a turn for the worse after the first 3 movies. And it doesn't stack up to really good sci-fi, like Dune or the new BSG series. So it's not perfect. But at least Lucas had a good premise to work with.

Star Trek also sucks because, for the most part, over the years, it just kept getting worse. Flipping channels, I just watched a few more minutes of Star Trek: Voyager and I got that same sick feeling in my stomach like when I try to watch Jerry Springer, Toddlers and Tiaras, or Judge Judy. It's just so campy and unrealistic. Also, as I get older, I have less and less patience with most sci-fi as I gain a deeper appreciation for good storytelling and dramatical narratives, which, except for the aforementioned examples, sci-fi is really bad at.

Alfred Hitchcock said that drama is just life with all the dull bits removed. Good sci-fi is a good combination of drama and futurism. But it's still about the drama first, the futurism second. Star Trek (and Stargate SG-1, for that matter) is too far removed from real life, and therefore falls into the category of bad drama. I can't respect it, therefore I have a hard time enjoying it.

It could be argued that Star Wars is bad futurism. There are no real explanations for how some technology works or even theories it is based on. At least Star Trek tries to explain itself using our current understanding of physics. But maybe that's the point...I can live with bad futurism, because its the drama that draws me in. If I want raw futurism, I'll just watch the Discovery channel.

There are a few more things about Star Trek that bug me:

• Humankind is perfect, now that they are "mature" enough, as a species.
• Aliens all look like humans with makeup.
• Bad guys all sound strangely like Imperial Japan or Nazi Germany.
• In later series, excessive time travel exacerbates bad plot lines
• Given the variance of cultural, social and political habits and practices within our own species and on our own planet, I have to question the casual relationships the humans have with several dozen alien species after only a few hours or years of contact.
• Everyone speaks English.
• The Ferengi.

Interesting how much more appealing the new Star Trek movie from 2009 was. It incorporated many elements that made Star Wars work so well, (the "used future" for example) almost as if Lucas had produced it. This new direction could work well.

Advice to the kiddos

Educate yourselves in something you love, or at least like.

Live your life as you want it first, then get married, if that's what you want, not the other way around. Don't get married to find yourself. Find yourself as preparation to getting married and then maintaining an honest relationship.

For example, if you come to the conclusion that you are most happy crunching numbers and solving complex problems, and that involves living in a big city, wearing a suit to work and carrying a briefcase into a big glass building every day, accept and embrace it. Alternately, you may find that living in the suburbs, preparing lesson plans and teaching eighth graders is more satisfying. If either of these or a million other scenarios appeals enough to you to make a life out of, make it happen early after college. Then, in that circle of personal and professional satisfaction, you may be blessed to meet someone in your circle that is not only compatible, but the one. You don't just have to be what you want, you have to exist in that want and see what the gods provide for.

The 6 pre-requisites of marriage:

-Educate yourself

-Date and be with lots of people

-Spend lots of time with a potential mate. Don't fall in love early, get past the infatuation and see what happens, then think about marriage

-Be over 30.

-Be established in your career and life's pursuits.

-Remember, this is just your Dad speaking.

Don't worry about marriage or sex or having babies. Worry about the relationships you develop by being true to yourself. If you're true to yourself, you will attract those that will stand by you because they value the same things. They will be the basis of your life-long friends, and one of them will likely be your soul mate.

Don't dismiss that voice in your heart. Sometimes it will disagree with what others are telling you or persuading you to do. That voice is unique to you, and the messages it sends are meant for you to interpret. Do what you will, but do not ignore that voice.

If something sounds too good to be true, it usually is. The only guaranteed formula for success in life is hard work and preparation... intellectually, emotionally, spiritually and physically...and the rest is luck. But if you're smart, you can stack the cards in your favor.

Don't invest in anything with too much readily available information. Don't expect to get ahead doing what everybody else does. Look at what everybody else is doing, then at least find a way to do it better, or better yet, do something extraordinary. (Example: don't build a faster train. Build an airliner.) If you read something in the Wall Street Journal, and get inspired to invest in something, realize, you're at least 2 million people too late. The early bird catches the worm, and he didn't need the WSJ or some TV advertisement telling him to invest in gold or rare coins. His instincts guided him. (Plus some hard work and preparation that got him there in the first place. See previous paragraph.) Opportunity is when preparation meets luck.

Your parents love you unconditionally, want the best for you, and would jump on a grenade for you. That doesn't mean they know anything about parenting, it just means they are going to do their best, and like it or not, that's all you're going to get. What you become is far more dependent on the decisions you start making as early as you are able. Luckily, some of your parents realize we are raising parents and adults, not children, and are allowing you to grow and experience what it means to be human and are not just an isolated ego-enhancing experiment for mom or dad.

Listen to opinions, but remember they are just opinions, not reality. At the end of the day, you decide.

Respect and use the rules of science. Science is not just a set of tools, it is a way of thinking, rational and unbiased thinking.

Fear absolutes and unassailable solutions. Anyone that claims to have found "the answer" is lying, or asking for money. Don't get ripped off. Scientists and Artists realize that every solution is just a step in the process to perfection. Don't presume the conclusion, you'll end up stale and trapped by others. Rather, embrace the journey there, and accept that there is no destination but the journey. The only truth lies in universal principles, and only a few are apparent. Live by those principles alone, combined with what the gods tell you. Do not listen to the exploitative religions, belief systems, weight loss plans, fast-money programs or other marketing scams that take advantage of those principles and extend them into servitude and revenue streams. At the end of the day, if you want to know the truth in the real world...follow the money.

Be true to yourselves. Make your life what you want it. Know that you are always loved.

Sunrise

I've seen lots of sunrises. At many altitudes...Phoenix, over the Superstitions. Greer, over the pines on the canyon wall. Flagstaff, through the pines on Mt Eldon, watching the light reflect off the face of the love of my life. Tucson, over the Santa Catalinas. Melbourne, over Mt. Dandenong from the 30th floor of my apartment.

All brilliant, but not so brilliant as the one I saw last week on the way to Melbourne from Los Angeles.

Qantas flight 94 left LA at 1120pm on a Wednesday. The big A380 took off, heading west, chasing the already set sun, but would never catch up with it. It's a 15 hour flight to Melbourne on a very large plane with about 600 passengers aboard. After about 12 hours, the sun lapped the earth, and came up from behind us. Sunrise from 38000 feet is a bit different,

It started with a vague light that wasn't moonlight, more like coming from below. There was a good moon out that night and lots of stars were still visible. What startled me was when the sun started to rise it only created some narrow bands of color; orange and yellow color located near the horizon. The net effect, which is where the real celestial brilliance occurred was in seeing the full spectrum of sunrise all the way thru to night,

I could see the indigo blue sky, compete with constellations (like the southern cross:) bright and visible, faded into a pink then orange band of sunrise, emanating from the sun as it moves across the ocean we were crossing.

Eventually, I could see day arising and night retreating in one view.

To see a sunrise is amazing enough. But to see one where, in one view, you can see the sun rising and the night retreating, framed by the deep indigo blue of the upper atmosphere, on top of the curvature of the earth is something hard to describe. It looked surreal, almost fake...but I couldn't look away.

Eventually, the sun overtook the moonlight and the starlight and illuminated the clouds below in a bright white, and drowned out any stars still visible. It was day time, and it had snuck up on us.

Interesting commentary

Extreme and bizarre religious ideas are so commonplace in American history that it is difficult to speak of them as fringe at all. To speak of a fringe implies a mainstream, but in terms of numbers, perhaps the largest component of the religious spectrum in contemporary America remains what it has been since colonial times: a fundamentalist evangelicalism with powerful millenarian strands. The doomsday theme has never been far from the center of American religious thought. The nation has always had believers who responded to this threat by a determination to flee from the wrath to come, to separate themselves from the City of Destruction, even if that meant putting themselves at odds with the law and with their communities or families. . . . We can throughout American history find select and separatist groups who looked to a prophetic individual claiming divine revelation, in a setting that repudiated conventional assumptions about property, family life, and sexuality. They were marginal groups, peculiar people, people set apart from the world: the Shakers and the Ephrata community, the communes of Oneida and Amana, the followers of Joseph Smith and Brigham Young.

– Philip Jenkins, Mystics and Messiahs

The best fruit of religious experience are the best things that history has to show… The highest flights of charity, devotion, trust, patience, bravery to which the wings of human nature have spread themselves have been flown for religious ideals.

– William James, The Varieties of Religious Experience

One is often told that it is a very wrong thing to attack religion, because religion makes men virtuous. So I am told; I have not noticed it…

You find as you look around the world that every single bit of progress in humane feeling, every improvement in the criminal law, every step toward the diminution of war, every step toward better treatment of the colored races, or every mitigation of slavery, every moral progress that there has been in the world, has been consistently opposed by the organized churches of the world.

– Bertrand Russell, Why I am not a Christian

My own view on religion is that of Lucretius. I regard it as a disease born of fear and as a source of untold misery to the human race. I cannot, however, deny that it has made some contributions to civilization. It helped in early days to fix the calendar, and it caused Egyptian priests to chronicle eclipses with such care that in time they became able to predict them. These two services I am prepared to acknowledge, but I do not know of any others.

– Bertrand Russell, Has Religion Made Useful Contributions to Civilization?

Both revelation and delusion are attempts at the solution of problems. Artists and scientists realize that no solution is ever final, but that each new creative step points the way to the next artistic or scientific problem. In contrast, those who embrace religious revelations and delusional systems tend to see them as unshakeable and permanent…

Religious faith is an answer to the problem of life… The majority of mankind want or need some all-embracing belief system which purports to provide an answer to life’s mysteries, and are not necessarily dismayed by the discovery that their belief system, which they proclaim as “the truth,” is incompatible with the beliefs of other people. One man’s faith is another man’s delusion…

Whether a belief is considered to be a delusion or not depends partly upon the intensity with which it is defended, and partly upon the number of people subscribing to it.”

– Anthony Storr, Feet of Clay

Critical examination of the lives and beliefs of gurus demonstrates that our psychiatric labels and our conceptions of what is or is not mental illness are woefully inadequate. How, for example, does one distinguish an unorthodox or bizarre faith from delusion?

Gurus are isolated people, dependent upon their disciples, with no possibility of being disciplined by a Church or criticized by contemporaries. They are above the law. The guru usurps the place of God. Whether gurus have suffered from manic-depressive illness, schizophrenia, or any other form of recognized, diagnosable mental illness is interesting but ultimately unimportant. What distinguishes gurus from more orthodox teachers is not their manic-depressive mood swings, not their thought disorders, not their delusional beliefs, not their hallucinatory visions, not their mystical states of ecstasy: it is their narcissism.

– Anthony Storr, Feet of Clay

There were no formerly heroic times, and there was no formerly pure generation. There is no one here but us chickens, and so it has always been: A people busy and powerful, knowledgeable, ambivalent, important, fearful, and self-aware: a people who scheme, promote, deceive, and conquer; who pray for their loved ones, and long to flee misery and skip death. It is a weakening and discoloring idea, that rustic people knew God personally once upon a time–or even knew selflessness or courage or literature–but that it is too late for us. In fact, the absolute is available to everyone in every age. There never was a more holy age than ours, and never a less.

– Annie Dillard, For The Time Being

(Fundamentalist movements) are embattled forms of spirituality, which have emerged as a response to a perceived crisis. They are engaged in a conflict with enemies whose secularist policies and beliefs seem inimical to religious belief. Fundamentalists do not regard this battle as a conventional political struggle, but experience it as a cosmic war between the forces of good and evil. They fear annihilation, and try to fortify their beleaguered identity by means of a selective retrieval of certain doctrines and practices of the past. To avoid contamination, they often withdraw from mainstream society to create a counterculture; yet fundamentalists are not impractical dreamers. They have absorbed the pragmatic rationalism of modernity, and under the guidance of their charismatic leaders, they refine these “fundamentals” so as to create an ideology that provides the faithful with a plan of action. Eventually they fight back to resacralize an increasingly skeptical world.”

– Karen Armstrong, The Battle For God

Australia

Or Oz, as it's called. I spent a week in Melbourne in February to scope a project for work. Picked up a little 'strine while down there too, so now I can annoy all my friends with my Steve Erwin impressions. (Crikey!) There is a repair and overhaul site there that needs a new system installed so we can turn off a 40 year old mainframe that costs us big bucks every year. So, they sent me there to go figure it out. Oh, and by the way, it needs to be done by August. 2010.

Great.

Fortunately, it's a small-ish site (80 people) and they are all easy to work with. But this being my single biggest objective of the year, it looks like I'm going to have to live there for a few months to run the project. A senior VP that I know and trust "strongly suggested" that there be a full time project manager down there as he doesn't want that site to be the reason we have to re-new a large mainframe support contract in August. That same senior VP "strongly suggested" who that project manager be. It's great to be trusted, I guess, but that's a long time away from the family. In such predicaments I must forge ahead...

I know what you're thinking. Oh darn. 5 months in Australia. I get to miss AZ summer. Can you sense the disappointment? The utter sense of loss that I will miss one of my adult summers in the desert?

Exactly.

In all seriousness though, as much as I will miss my family, this is a good project and a great opportunity from a career perspective. And I will probably fly Amy and Jade down there for awhile to keep me company, so it won't be unbearable. I'll have a corporate apartment in the city too, so I'm already soliciting all my friends and family to come down and spend a week or two, rent free, while I'm down there

But back to the subject...Australia. First of all, right out of the airport, I noticed something significant about Oz. They drive on the wrong side of the road. Even the cars are set up to enable this, with the steering wheel on the passenger side of the car. Crazy, but it did allow me to experience something I never thought I would. Allow me to explain:

When I was a kid, I spent my early teen years riding in the front seat and absorbing the rules of the road. In essence, I learned to drive from the passenger seat. It seemed natural, the right place to experience the open road from. You can imagine my surprise and awkwardness when I got my drivers permit and had to get used to driving from the actual drivers seat. The seat belt was on the wrong side. The rear view mirror was opposite. The door was on my left, meaning I had to hang my LEFT arm out the window. It was all wrong.

But Australia solved all that. And even though I kept turning on my windshield wipers every time I went for the turn signal, I finally got to live out my childhood dream. I got to drive from the passenger seat.

Awesome.

The next thing I noticed was the utter lack of brand recognition I possessed while down there. I recognized nothing at the local strip mall. You know the usual array of signs...Best Buy, Subway, McDonalds, Kinkos, Starbucks, Target, Borders, etc. Down under, with the exception of the golden arches and an unusually high concentration of 7-11's and Safeway's, it was all new. I also realized I had no perception of brand quality. In other words, I couldn't tell if Lowe's Menswear and Casual Guy were more like Banana Republic or K-mart. This freedom was kind of nice, because I realized I could live anywhere in town and not be concerned that I was surrounded by sub-par box-chain stores. When I came back to Phoenix, I still had this sort of "pre-concieved-notion-free" view and as I drove home from the airport didn't have that subconscious perception that I was in a good or bad part of town. It was kind of liberating, but scary that I had those notions apparantly programmed in by US marketers.

Public transit is huge and effective down there. They have a version of light rail that goes EVERYWHERE. In fact, when I go back I probably won't use a rental car. Between the Metlink and the cheap single-speed I plan to purchase, I should be able to get just about anywhere. I may even have time to catch up on some reading while I sit on the tram.

And then there's Aussie-rules football. I went to a pre-season game on friday night and watched St. Kilda edge rival Collingwood 100-99. Aussie-rules is great. It's one part soccer, one part rugby, and one part basketball with a little American football thrown in. And the field is a giant oval, like 3 times the area of a standard American football field. It's less the organized fight that rugby is, with no offsides rules and the players spread out across the field, but faster than soccer and, in my opinion, more entertaining.

My trip back should be interesting, and I'm looking forward to it. It's not every day I get an opportunity like this, and the challenge is intriguing.

More to follow...

Fear

"One reason that the Allies overestimated the effect of strategic bombardment was that they failed to realize that the Germans were much more afraid of their own government than British and American bombs." Good quote. Can the same be said of the Soviets, the Viet Cong, the Khmer Rouge, Saddam Hussein, Al-Qaeda...etc? So what do we do, keep dropping bombs? The definition of insanity is doing the same thing and expecting different results...

It all boils down to fear.

Fear...of change, of others, of loss. Face the change, face the fear...face the fear, face the future.

Evolve, please.

Don't just try

"If you're going to try, go all the way. Otherwise, don't even start. This could mean losing girlfriends, wives, relatives and maybe even your mind. It could mean not eating for three or four days. It could mean freezing on a park bench. It could mean jail. It could mean derision. It could mean mockery--isolation. Isolation is the gift. All the others are a test of your endurance, of how much you really want to do it. And, you'll do it, despite rejection and the worst odds. And it will be better than anything else you can imagine. If you're going to try, go all the way. There is no other feeling like that. You will be alone with the gods, and the nights will flame with fire. You will ride life straight to perfect laughter. It's the only good fight there is."

- Charles Bukowski