God is not a lawyer

Life is white
And I am black
Jesus and his lawyer
Are coming back
Oh my darling, will you be here
Before I sputter out

-Eels, Novacaine For The Soul

I love the view of most Christians that somehow, somewhere, as we watch the DVD of our lives in front of God and the chosen, that He will be sitting there, checklist in hand, documenting all the parts where you went off course. Kind of like Santa Claus, but without the big bag of toys, or the recurring annual festivities. Just a room key at the end. I hope my room in hell has cable.

For that matter, I love even more how churches evolve. While they start with honorable intentions, (mostly) over time, they become nothing more than quick-study online law schools. They're only purpose, aside from taking your money, is to help you pass the exam. (The difference with real law schools is that those actually train you how to THINK)

And the cycle continues. They all start the same way. Some dude shows up on the scene, doesn't dig it, and starts a movement. Jesus, Martin Luther, Mohammed, Moses, Joseph Smith, even Ghandi...all the same. And as all good things do once everybody jumps on the bandwagon, the founder leaves, subsequent leaders screw it up, and it becomes a money making machine. The money changers and lawyers step in, the very ones the founders railed against in the beginning. And Mossimo shows up at Target.

Sorry, but God is not a lawyer. If he is, I just became an aetheist. Seriously, can you imagine? God and the glorious afterlife being nothing more than a lawyers convention? Shoot me now. No don't! I don't want to go to that crazy convention!

The greatest irony, and the greatest tragedy, is that all those guys found some sort of inner voice, had the stones to follow it, tried to share it, and then their subsequent organizations do everything they can to squelch everyone else's inner voice. Cie la vie.

I'm looking forward to the next revolution. Think about how amazing it could be, if you put it in the context of the Jesus story. That dude had stones. If he'd have lived today, he would be walking into the New York Stock Exchange and shutting it down in the morning, then publicly shattering the credibility of the Judicial Branch in the evening. It would be all over CNN. As would the execution, by the Legislative Branch after the Executive Branch turns a blind eye, the following morning.

God is not a lawyer. He's a parent, and not a dysfunctional one. All good parents want their children to fly, something we'd never learn if we didn't get pushed out of the nest from time to time.